I've been thinking a lot lately about the art of having a blog and what I want to convey to you, the friends who visit this space. We all have influence; our number of Instagram followers might be small (compared to 50K!) but that doesn't negate the fact that someone is listening to the words you choose to share. I desire for all my words to be sprinkled with honesty and hope.
Here are a few thoughts that have been swirling around my mind. These are my words...
Community and friendship are important to me. My body literally craves deep, meaningful conversations. I will always choose to sit on the grassy lawn or front porch talking about how beautiful life is and how, at 28, it isn't what I imagined when I was 19. I am not always the best with spontaneity and want to be open to unplanned opportunities within my friendships.
Life is hard and beautiful simultaneously. Receiving reports that my body isn't working quite like it should is frustrating, but I get up, greet the sun and go about my day. Hopefully, I am able to be a great friend and loving spouse.
Joy is found in "thinking of you" cards and wine given by friends when my period comes again. Joy is rejoicing in the birth of my friends' babies despite my lack. Joy is backyard parties with friends. Joy is traveling and getting lost in a new city. Joy is watching Gilmore Girls while baking brownies and laughing at old jokes with Jordan.
I worry sometimes I'm getting accustomed to extra everything (sleep, freedom, time, energy) that when I finally get a positive pregnancy test, it'll be a major shock to my system: like living alone for 20 years and suddenly having to share a bathroom with an entire sorority house.
The only thing that I really know for certain is God is for me...for us. This is true. But that certainly doesn't mean life is without heartache or suffering. I can quite literally choose to look for joy in my life.
I will continue to step forward towards the light that is JOY, embracing it with everything I am.