Do you struggle with following your own advice? I know I do. It's easy to say to someone, "Surrender to God", and "Cast your worries on Him, cause He cares for you," but actually living that out is a different story. Sometimes my prayers are pretty desperate, "How much longer?," I ask. I suppose if I'm asking that, there is still more to learn.
People have told me that it's brave to share our journey in this, very, public way, but I feel pretty far from brave most days. I feel like stress is showing up on my face (maybe it's not the dairy?! ;-) ). And I would be embarrassed admitting how many times I'll suddenly cry for no real reason other than I'm worn out from the emotional highs and lows.
The mind games are hard to fight. I continually catch myself, slipping into the rabbit trail I like to call, "Wallowing." Which sadly, happens more than I'd like to admit. I suppose this is what life is about: the hard, gritty, raw parts; the parts that we'd like to bury, but really can't face alone, so we reach out for support. Willingly, friends come alongside to support and occasionally give advice (and vice versa). As the words exit my mouth, sometimes I wonder if I believe what I'm saying.
Last week, Jordan suggested we play tennis (you know take advantage of the nice weather) and I resisted at first. After a few hours, I decided to take my own advice, enjoy the sunshine and release any frustration on the court. And you know what? It was really good advice.
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