I worked on Mother's Day and that was good for me. I wasn't ready to spend the Sunday church service being reminded that another year had passed. I wish I could say it wouldn't have bothered me, but I knew I needed to guard my emotions. Despite my own disappointment that day, I am really blessed and lucky that my mother and Jordan's mother are both still here and influence our daily life. This isn't everyone's reality. Many face that day with unresolved sadness.
Last week, terrible news surfaced: a young co-worker and friend of Jordan's died tragically. A family in an instant, torn apart by loss, was forever changed.
I was thinking how this happens everyday; gang violence, drunk drivers, or cancer. But we all too easily can become immune. 24hr news has dulled our senses.
I was thinking how we are all facing a battle. Some more life-altering than others, but they all feel monumental when we're in the midst of it.
Working through this season of my life, everyday, sometimes every moment, becomes important. What am I supposed to be learning? How is this shaping my future? Am I loving my friends and family? Am I too caught up with myself? Am I compassionate to those around me?
The parents, mourning the loss of their daughter, are facing a harder battle than me. We can't compare the two. But it is far too easy to isolate ourselves from others' battles and lose perspective, magnifying our own struggles. Sometimes we need to be in the trenches with people, baring a little discomfort, and sharing a tiny sliver of the burden. In high school, in the span of maybe seven months, I went to five funerals. All of them were for young lives tragically cut short and to be honest, those feelings have never left me. Their lives haven't left me.
Battles are being fought all around us.
I guess I am learning to savor each moment I have: this season of being a couple, being a daughter/sister, being an aunt to four healthy nieces and nephews, having food on the table and a roof over my head, going after our dreams, and even the growing pains.
We celebrated Mother's Day quietly. I think that is the best way. My parents were away for my nephew's baby dedication, so we spent the afternoon with Jordan's family: playing games, eating yummy food, and at times I just sat back soaking in the day. Especially knowing so many families weren't having a day like ours.
This life is fleeting. This life of mine is beautiful.